a long weekend means more time for smut, sandwiches, and sending zero e-mails

my siren song is the sound of a penjamin being ripped and a chip bag being opened

it’s one hoa hoa hundred degrees outside so don’t talk to me about fall. enjoying the UV 9 and pool-side sandwiches until further notice.

i’m done acting like i’m a people person. i’m a PICKLE person 😤

i know you’ve been scrolling for 20 minutes. time to get up, drink some water, and eat something.

kinda chic to listen to a 🌶️ audiobook at the office

book baddies are being fed today 📚🧚🏻✨🦇

some of ya’ll are not using your free will (the Customize tab) to its fullest potential ($5.99 Turkey Tom with xtra mayo, ez lettuce, xtra pickles, ez Jimmy Peppers)

pretending i'm taking notes but i’m lowkey in my afternoon meeting browsing the menu so i can pick up dinner omw home🤭

born to eat sandwiches & read silly little smut books, forced to circle back & connect on KPIs

i'm reading the most unhinged smut rn

pumpkin spice? why not pickle spice 🌶️