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A failed trust fall: Not a great look for my credibility. Dankeschön, Robby, for trusting me. Entschuldigung, @biggrizz64 for trusting me. But you can trust me on one thing: Friday’s show is going to be fun. 📍 Laugh & Hip-Hop @ Club Tane 15414 Telegraph Rd, Redford, MI 🗓 Friday, August 7 ⏰ 9:00 PM 🎟 $20 at the door #DetroitComedy #StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy #LiveComedy
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1mo ago
kolossus
A failed trust fall: Not a great look for my credibility. Dankeschön, Robby, for trusting me. Entschuldigung, @biggrizz64 for trusting me. But you can trust me on one thing: Friday’s show is going to be fun. 📍 Laugh & Hip-Hop @ Club Tane 15414 Telegraph Rd, Redford, MI 🗓 Friday, August 7 ⏰ 9:00 PM 🎟 $20 at the door #DetroitComedy #StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy #LiveComedy
This weekend I’m doing my first comedy festival: The Cassopolis Comedy Festival 🎤 Somewhere between Fat Magnum PI and the lovechild child of Wreck-It Ralph, I somehow got booked for a real festival. All infos & tickets on my website: alfonsmueller.com & Link in Bio! #StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy #ComedyFestival #Cassopolis
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kolossus
This weekend I’m doing my first comedy festival: The Cassopolis Comedy Festival 🎤 Somewhere between Fat Magnum PI and the lovechild child of Wreck-It Ralph, I somehow got booked for a real festival. All infos & tickets on my website: alfonsmueller.com & Link in Bio! #StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy #ComedyFestival #Cassopolis
Last night was pure comedy lab. 🧪 Some riffs landed. Some absolutely 💣ed. Some got an audible “NASTY!” from the audience… which, honestly, is also a compliment. Now it’s time to see if these jokes can survive in competition. 🎳 This Sunday I’m competing in Kingpin of Comedy at The Garage Bar / Chicago Beef Joint in Grand Rapids. Here’s the important part: 👉 The audience decides who advances. So if you’ve ever laughed at one of my dumb ideas — or just want to watch me either triumph or spectacularly eat shit— I need you there. 📅 Sunday, July 12 🕖 7 PM 📍 Chicago Beef Joint / The Garage Bar 💸 FREE admission Come laugh. Come judge. Come vote. (And if one of these jokes offends you… imagine hearing the final version live. 😈) #StandUpComedy #GrandRapidsComedy #MichiganComedy #KingpinOfComedy #LiveComedy
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kolossus
Last night was pure comedy lab. 🧪 Some riffs landed. Some absolutely 💣ed. Some got an audible “NASTY!” from the audience… which, honestly, is also a compliment. Now it’s time to see if these jokes can survive in competition. 🎳 This Sunday I’m competing in Kingpin of Comedy at The Garage Bar / Chicago Beef Joint in Grand Rapids. Here’s the important part: 👉 The audience decides who advances. So if you’ve ever laughed at one of my dumb ideas — or just want to watch me either triumph or spectacularly eat shit— I need you there. 📅 Sunday, July 12 🕖 7 PM 📍 Chicago Beef Joint / The Garage Bar 💸 FREE admission Come laugh. Come judge. Come vote. (And if one of these jokes offends you… imagine hearing the final version live. 😈) #StandUpComedy #GrandRapidsComedy #MichiganComedy #KingpinOfComedy #LiveComedy
🇩🇪 GERMANY — I’M BACK NEXT WEEK! First show, fresh off the plane: ✈️🎤 📍 Comedy Club Mannheim 📅 Friday, Sept 11 · 8:30 PM Mannheim friends — come by! ❤️ Would love to see you there. Until then: German Terminator vs. Gay Terminator. 🤖🏳️‍🌈 #Mannheim #StandUpComedy #GermanComedy #GayComedian
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2w ago
kolossus
🇩🇪 GERMANY — I’M BACK NEXT WEEK! First show, fresh off the plane: ✈️🎤 📍 Comedy Club Mannheim 📅 Friday, Sept 11 · 8:30 PM Mannheim friends — come by! ❤️ Would love to see you there. Until then: German Terminator vs. Gay Terminator. 🤖🏳️‍🌈 #Mannheim #StandUpComedy #GermanComedy #GayComedian
Picture this: Love is Blind — Bear Edition 🐻 This is exactly the kind of chaos I’m still stealing Netflix for. See it live tomorrow at Sunday Night Funnies. 📍 Grand Rapids 🕖 7PM — Free Show All info: www.alfonsmueller.com (link in bio) All Images by @beardance / @felixiefoto #standupcomedy #grandrapids #tbru #comedy #bearsofinstagram
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kolossus
Picture this: Love is Blind — Bear Edition 🐻 This is exactly the kind of chaos I’m still stealing Netflix for. See it live tomorrow at Sunday Night Funnies. 📍 Grand Rapids 🕖 7PM — Free Show All info: www.alfonsmueller.com (link in bio) All Images by @beardance / @felixiefoto #standupcomedy #grandrapids #tbru #comedy #bearsofinstagram
Bearrison Street Fair was such a good time! Guests were thrilled and genuinely surprised to receive a physical keepsake photo print on the spot. It was such a joy to watch their reactions throughout the day! #bearrison #bearevent #gaybear
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kolossus
Bearrison Street Fair was such a good time! Guests were thrilled and genuinely surprised to receive a physical keepsake photo print on the spot. It was such a joy to watch their reactions throughout the day! #bearrison #bearevent #gaybear
Apparently I’m a skincare influencer now. 🇩🇪🧴 Earth Therapeutics gave me their 5-Minute Nightly Reset Kit, so naturally I took it on the road. Five steps, five minutes, one German in a Midwest restroom. And this collaboration actually supports my comedy: use ALFONS20 for 20% off through my affiliate link. You save 20%, and I earn a commission from your purchase. ❤️ 🔗 Link in bio / Stories 🏷️ Code: ALFONS20 #EarthTherapeutics #MensSkincare #GermanComedian #StandUpComedy
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kolossus
Apparently I’m a skincare influencer now. 🇩🇪🧴 Earth Therapeutics gave me their 5-Minute Nightly Reset Kit, so naturally I took it on the road. Five steps, five minutes, one German in a Midwest restroom. And this collaboration actually supports my comedy: use ALFONS20 for 20% off through my affiliate link. You save 20%, and I earn a commission from your purchase. ❤️ 🔗 Link in bio / Stories 🏷️ Code: ALFONS20 #EarthTherapeutics #MensSkincare #GermanComedian #StandUpComedy
Sibling love means supporting her athletic potential. 🏈 My little sister has basically the same body as me. The WNBA might not be calling — but if the WNFL ever becomes a thing, she’s going first round. Shot last Friday at Detroit Has Talent: Laugh & Hip Hop in Detroit. Apparently roasting my own family was just training for tomorrow. 🔥 ROAST AT THE REX: Men vs Everybody 📍 Rex Theatre — Morenci, MI 📅 Tomorrow, August 15 🕗 8 PM Come watch me roast people I’m not related to. Also: costume malfunction in the Reel! #BellyBlitzer #StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy #RoastComedy #DetroitComedy
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kolossus
Sibling love means supporting her athletic potential. 🏈 My little sister has basically the same body as me. The WNBA might not be calling — but if the WNFL ever becomes a thing, she’s going first round. Shot last Friday at Detroit Has Talent: Laugh & Hip Hop in Detroit. Apparently roasting my own family was just training for tomorrow. 🔥 ROAST AT THE REX: Men vs Everybody 📍 Rex Theatre — Morenci, MI 📅 Tomorrow, August 15 🕗 8 PM Come watch me roast people I’m not related to. Also: costume malfunction in the Reel! #BellyBlitzer #StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy #RoastComedy #DetroitComedy
🫣🎉A whole week of shows across Michigan starts Wednesday! 🎤 First stop: Clean Comedy Night at Michigan Moonshine Distillery & BBQ. ✅ Clean jokes ✅ Free admission ✅ Great lineup If you’ve been meaning to come see me live, this is probably the easiest place to start. 📍Wednesday, August 5 • 7:30 PM #StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy #GrandRapidsEvents #CleanComedy
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kolossus
🫣🎉A whole week of shows across Michigan starts Wednesday! 🎤 First stop: Clean Comedy Night at Michigan Moonshine Distillery & BBQ. ✅ Clean jokes ✅ Free admission ✅ Great lineup If you’ve been meaning to come see me live, this is probably the easiest place to start. 📍Wednesday, August 5 • 7:30 PM #StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy #GrandRapidsEvents #CleanComedy
Some people need therapy. Some people just shouldn’t be in charge. This clip is me trying to make sense of a week where reality keeps trying to out-satire comedians. The best part, though, is that this set was part of Balancing the Humors, a comedy show benefiting mental health and wellness initiatives through Doctors Without Borders. Mental health deserves compassion. Power deserves scrutiny. Comedy gets to know the difference. If this joke made you laugh (or made you uncomfortable for the right reasons), that’s exactly why I love doing benefit shows like this. ❤️ Thanks to everyone who came out and supported a cause that matters. #StandUpComedy #MentalHealthMatters #PoliticalComedy #ComedyForACause #MichiganComedy
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kolossus
Some people need therapy. Some people just shouldn’t be in charge. This clip is me trying to make sense of a week where reality keeps trying to out-satire comedians. The best part, though, is that this set was part of Balancing the Humors, a comedy show benefiting mental health and wellness initiatives through Doctors Without Borders. Mental health deserves compassion. Power deserves scrutiny. Comedy gets to know the difference. If this joke made you laugh (or made you uncomfortable for the right reasons), that’s exactly why I love doing benefit shows like this. ❤️ Thanks to everyone who came out and supported a cause that matters. #StandUpComedy #MentalHealthMatters #PoliticalComedy #ComedyForACause #MichiganComedy
Last Friday at Turtle Cat Comedy, Ann Arbor watched me explain how AI is doing my job search while AI is doing the hiring. The economy is a conversation between two robots and I am the Terms & Conditions nobody read. 🤖 Next Show: Wednesday April 8th. River City Saloon. Grand Rapids. Link in bio. 🎤 #StandupComedy #GenX #AIHumor #GrandRapids #Comedy
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kolossus
Last Friday at Turtle Cat Comedy, Ann Arbor watched me explain how AI is doing my job search while AI is doing the hiring. The economy is a conversation between two robots and I am the Terms & Conditions nobody read. 🤖 Next Show: Wednesday April 8th. River City Saloon. Grand Rapids. Link in bio. 🎤 #StandupComedy #GenX #AIHumor #GrandRapids #Comedy
🎃 Good Witch - Bad Decisions: Wicked Halloween meets Midlife Crisis 🧙‍♀️💅 Glenn… … … ‘Duh! ✨ & Alfons-aba… looking rough 😈 Still fighting like sisters. Still bitching like witches. Welcome to “Wicked – Not For Good.” 💚🖤 They used to be Popular! #DownTheWitchesRoad #Halloween #Wicked #WickedNotForGood #HalloweenCouple #GayWitches #WickedParody #ForGoodish #Popular #QueerCostumes
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kolossus
🎃 Good Witch - Bad Decisions: Wicked Halloween meets Midlife Crisis 🧙‍♀️💅 Glenn… … … ‘Duh! ✨ & Alfons-aba… looking rough 😈 Still fighting like sisters. Still bitching like witches. Welcome to “Wicked – Not For Good.” 💚🖤 They used to be Popular! #DownTheWitchesRoad #Halloween #Wicked #WickedNotForGood #HalloweenCouple #GayWitches #WickedParody #ForGoodish #Popular #QueerCostumes
Putting the joke back into job loss. 🎤 Great night at Brewery Outré in Kalamazoo. 🍻 Always fun room and awesome audience — and a strong lineup all around. #StandUpComedy #KalamazooComedy #LiveComedy #ComedyLife #MidwestComedy
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kolossus
Putting the joke back into job loss. 🎤 Great night at Brewery Outré in Kalamazoo. 🍻 Always fun room and awesome audience — and a strong lineup all around. #StandUpComedy #KalamazooComedy #LiveComedy #ComedyLife #MidwestComedy
4 Shows. 1 Joke. Dozens of bad ideas. Pride Month 🌈 is almost over, and I started wondering about the people who always claim they’re being left out. The unfunny majority of Culture Warriors. So I imagined what their Pride Celebration might look like. The results were not encouraging. 😬 If you’re in Michigan, come see me live this Friday, June 26, at Brewery Outre — one of my favorite rooms in the state. 🎤🍻 #StandUpComedy #Comedy #PoliticalComedy
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kolossus
4 Shows. 1 Joke. Dozens of bad ideas. Pride Month 🌈 is almost over, and I started wondering about the people who always claim they’re being left out. The unfunny majority of Culture Warriors. So I imagined what their Pride Celebration might look like. The results were not encouraging. 😬 If you’re in Michigan, come see me live this Friday, June 26, at Brewery Outre — one of my favorite rooms in the state. 🎤🍻 #StandUpComedy #Comedy #PoliticalComedy
🎉 Happy Birthday to me! 🎤 Final set at Manny’s Bar & Grill 📚 Big men in history failing at 47 📸 Real talk about dick pics 🌪️ Ignored a tornado warning—TornadoSchmornado! #StandUpComedy #GrandRapidsComedy #TornadoSchmornado
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kolossus
🎉 Happy Birthday to me! 🎤 Final set at Manny’s Bar & Grill 📚 Big men in history failing at 47 📸 Real talk about dick pics 🌪️ Ignored a tornado warning—TornadoSchmornado! #StandUpComedy #GrandRapidsComedy #TornadoSchmornado
🇩🇪🐻 I performed one of three sets at Big Belly Laughs — the first ever standup show at Beardance, TBRU 30. Shoutout to @thatjeffisfunny and @josephschles for making it happen. The other two were funnier. I was less dressed! Bavarian migrant energy. Textile contouring. Pokémon 🐻 strategy. Love Is Blind Bear Edition. A room full of fabulous beings and one German who arrived severely dehydrated. Video is live. Link in bio. ——— This Friday I headline Turtle Cat Comedy in Ann Arbor. 📍 Hear.Say Brewing + Theater 📅 April 3rd / 9pm 🎟️ All Info on my website - link in Bio #TBRU #Beardance #OnlyFons #StandUp #bearsofinstagram🐻
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kolossus
🇩🇪🐻 I performed one of three sets at Big Belly Laughs — the first ever standup show at Beardance, TBRU 30. Shoutout to @thatjeffisfunny and @josephschles for making it happen. The other two were funnier. I was less dressed! Bavarian migrant energy. Textile contouring. Pokémon 🐻 strategy. Love Is Blind Bear Edition. A room full of fabulous beings and one German who arrived severely dehydrated. Video is live. Link in bio. ——— This Friday I headline Turtle Cat Comedy in Ann Arbor. 📍 Hear.Say Brewing + Theater 📅 April 3rd / 9pm 🎟️ All Info on my website - link in Bio #TBRU #Beardance #OnlyFons #StandUp #bearsofinstagram🐻
🇩🇪 STUTTGART — HEUTE ABEND! 🇺🇸 Endlich wurde DEI abgeschafft und ich kann den Job bekommen, von dem ich immer geträumt habe: bei HOOTERS. 🦉 Ob ich für die Stelle qualifiziert bin, seht ihr im Video. Den Rest gibt’s heute Abend live: 🫧 Comedy Bubbles 📍 Stuttgart 🕢 Heute, 19:30 Uhr Come see what happens when German efficiency meets American employment opportunities. 🇩🇪🇺🇸 #ComedyBubbles #Stuttgart #Standup #Comedy #Hooters
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kolossus
🇩🇪 STUTTGART — HEUTE ABEND! 🇺🇸 Endlich wurde DEI abgeschafft und ich kann den Job bekommen, von dem ich immer geträumt habe: bei HOOTERS. 🦉 Ob ich für die Stelle qualifiziert bin, seht ihr im Video. Den Rest gibt’s heute Abend live: 🫧 Comedy Bubbles 📍 Stuttgart 🕢 Heute, 19:30 Uhr Come see what happens when German efficiency meets American employment opportunities. 🇩🇪🇺🇸 #ComedyBubbles #Stuttgart #Standup #Comedy #Hooters
Being married to a comedian is dangerous. Being his voluntary stuntman is worse. Robby @biggrizz64 risked everything for our most ambitious shot yet. When production abandoned him, Kollette rushed in as an unlicensed first responder. 🐶 You can still trust me about Friday: 📍 Laugh & Hip-Hop at Club Tane, Redford 🗓 August 7 | 9 PM 🎟 $20 at the door #DetroitComedy #BehindTheScenes #StandUpComedy
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kolossus
Being married to a comedian is dangerous. Being his voluntary stuntman is worse. Robby @biggrizz64 risked everything for our most ambitious shot yet. When production abandoned him, Kollette rushed in as an unlicensed first responder. 🐶 You can still trust me about Friday: 📍 Laugh & Hip-Hop at Club Tane, Redford 🗓 August 7 | 9 PM 🎟 $20 at the door #DetroitComedy #BehindTheScenes #StandUpComedy
🇪🇸 FACE TO FACE · HAIRY® ISSUE #5 Hay gente que contesta un cuestionario. Y luego está Alfons Müller @kolossus, que decidió convertir el suyo en una categoría de peso. 🐻💪😂 Alemán viviendo en Estados Unidos, recién casado —por tercera vez con el mismo hombre ❤️— y autodefinido como “un muscle chub de la vida real”, Alfons tiene bastante clara su filosofía: EL TAMAÑO IMPORTA. Todo y todos, cuanto más grandes que la vida, mejor. ¿A qué se dedica? 🏋️ “A levantar cosas pesadas, lanzarlas y soltar chistes.” ¿A qué está abierto? 🍺 “A entrenar, una cerveza, un snack y una siesta.” ¿Y qué busca? Cosas pesadas. Hombres pesados. Pensamientos de peso. Entre realities basura, podcasts sobre sectas, nu-rock de los 90, perros, entrenamientos y una lengua que —según él— tiene habilidades extraordinarias 👅, Alfons es exactamente el tipo de persona para la que inventamos FACE TO FACE. 📖 Entrevista completa en HAIRY® Issue #5 📸 Photography: TORRES IBARZO ESTUDIO @torresibarzoestudio 🐻 Model: ALFONS MÜLLER @kolossus Available at HAIRYMAG.COM 🇬🇧 FACE TO FACE · HAIRY® ISSUE #5 Some people answer a questionnaire. And then there’s Alfons Müller @kolossus, who decided to turn his into a whole new weight category. 🐻💪😂 A German living in the USA, newlywed —for the third time to the same guy ❤️— and a self-described “real-life muscle chub,” Alfons has his philosophy pretty much figured out: SIZE MATTERS. Everything and everyone bigger than life. What does he do? 🏋️ “Lifting heavy things, throwing them and spitting jokes.” What is he open to? 🍺 “A workout, a beer, a snack & a nap.” And what does he look for? Heavy things. Heavy men. Heavy-hitting thoughts. Somewhere between trash reality TV, podcasts about cults, 90s nu-rock, dogs, workouts and a tongue that —according to him— has some pretty amazing skills 👅, Alfons is exactly the kind of person FACE TO FACE was made for. 📖 Full interview in HAIRY® Issue #5 📸 Photography: TORRES IBARZO ESTUDIO @torresibarzoestudio 🐻 Model: ALFONS MÜLLER @kolossus Available at HAIRYMAG.COM #HAIRYMag HAIRYMagazine FaceToFace AlfonsMüller Kolossus BearCommunity MuscleBear MuscleChub HairyMen BearCulture
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kolossus
🇪🇸 FACE TO FACE · HAIRY® ISSUE #5 Hay gente que contesta un cuestionario. Y luego está Alfons Müller @kolossus, que decidió convertir el suyo en una categoría de peso. 🐻💪😂 Alemán viviendo en Estados Unidos, recién casado —por tercera vez con el mismo hombre ❤️— y autodefinido como “un muscle chub de la vida real”, Alfons tiene bastante clara su filosofía: EL TAMAÑO IMPORTA. Todo y todos, cuanto más grandes que la vida, mejor. ¿A qué se dedica? 🏋️ “A levantar cosas pesadas, lanzarlas y soltar chistes.” ¿A qué está abierto? 🍺 “A entrenar, una cerveza, un snack y una siesta.” ¿Y qué busca? Cosas pesadas. Hombres pesados. Pensamientos de peso. Entre realities basura, podcasts sobre sectas, nu-rock de los 90, perros, entrenamientos y una lengua que —según él— tiene habilidades extraordinarias 👅, Alfons es exactamente el tipo de persona para la que inventamos FACE TO FACE. 📖 Entrevista completa en HAIRY® Issue #5 📸 Photography: TORRES IBARZO ESTUDIO @torresibarzoestudio 🐻 Model: ALFONS MÜLLER @kolossus Available at HAIRYMAG.COM 🇬🇧 FACE TO FACE · HAIRY® ISSUE #5 Some people answer a questionnaire. And then there’s Alfons Müller @kolossus, who decided to turn his into a whole new weight category. 🐻💪😂 A German living in the USA, newlywed —for the third time to the same guy ❤️— and a self-described “real-life muscle chub,” Alfons has his philosophy pretty much figured out: SIZE MATTERS. Everything and everyone bigger than life. What does he do? 🏋️ “Lifting heavy things, throwing them and spitting jokes.” What is he open to? 🍺 “A workout, a beer, a snack & a nap.” And what does he look for? Heavy things. Heavy men. Heavy-hitting thoughts. Somewhere between trash reality TV, podcasts about cults, 90s nu-rock, dogs, workouts and a tongue that —according to him— has some pretty amazing skills 👅, Alfons is exactly the kind of person FACE TO FACE was made for. 📖 Full interview in HAIRY® Issue #5 📸 Photography: TORRES IBARZO ESTUDIO @torresibarzoestudio 🐻 Model: ALFONS MÜLLER @kolossus Available at HAIRYMAG.COM #HAIRYMag HAIRYMagazine FaceToFace AlfonsMüller Kolossus BearCommunity MuscleBear MuscleChub HairyMen BearCulture
My relationship with Taco Bell remains committed, complicated and legally inadvisable. 🌮 Caught this one at Laughter on the Lakeshore in Muskegon. Grand Rapids: I’m back on stage Friday at Punchlines on the Patio at Fulton Street Pub — 7PM, free show. #StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy #GrandRapidsComedy #TacoBell Spoiler: Belly Blitzer! 🤭
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kolossus
My relationship with Taco Bell remains committed, complicated and legally inadvisable. 🌮 Caught this one at Laughter on the Lakeshore in Muskegon. Grand Rapids: I’m back on stage Friday at Punchlines on the Patio at Fulton Street Pub — 7PM, free show. #StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy #GrandRapidsComedy #TacoBell Spoiler: Belly Blitzer! 🤭

Alfons Mueller (@kolossus) Instagram Stats & Analytics

Alfons Mueller (@kolossus) has 13.2K Instagram followers with a 3.78% engagement rate over the past 12 months. Across 71.0 posts, Alfons Mueller received 41.3K total likes and 894K impressions, averaging 581 likes per post. This page tracks Alfons Mueller's performance metrics, top content, and engagement trends — updated daily.

Alfons Mueller (@kolossus) Instagram Analytics FAQ

How many Instagram followers does Alfons Mueller have?+
Alfons Mueller (@kolossus) has 13.2K Instagram followers as of September 2026.
What is Alfons Mueller's Instagram engagement rate?+
Alfons Mueller's Instagram engagement rate is 3.78% over the last 12 months, based on 71.0 posts.
How many likes does Alfons Mueller get on Instagram?+
Alfons Mueller received 41.3K total likes across 71.0 posts in the last 12 months, averaging 581 likes per post.
How many Instagram impressions does Alfons Mueller get?+
Alfons Mueller's Instagram content generated 894K total impressions over the last 12 months.