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12.7K
impressions
656K
likes
28.1K
comments
590
posts
60
engagement
4.57%
emv
$20.9K
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57.9K
2.79K
61
1mo ago
kolossus
This weekend I’m doing my first comedy festival:
The Cassopolis Comedy Festival 🎤
Somewhere between Fat Magnum PI and the lovechild child of Wreck-It Ralph, I somehow got booked for a real festival.
All infos & tickets on my website:
alfonsmueller.com & Link in Bio!
#StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy #ComedyFestival #Cassopolis
46.4K
1.86K
29
3mo ago
kolossus
Picture this: Love is Blind — Bear Edition 🐻
This is exactly the kind of chaos
I’m still stealing Netflix for.
See it live tomorrow at Sunday Night Funnies.
📍 Grand Rapids
🕖 7PM — Free Show
All info: www.alfonsmueller.com (link in bio)
All Images by @beardance / @felixiefoto
#standupcomedy #grandrapids #tbru #comedy #bearsofinstagram
44.3K
1.77K
23
8mo ago
kolossus
Bearrison Street Fair was such a good time! Guests were thrilled and genuinely surprised to receive a physical keepsake photo print on the spot. It was such a joy to watch their reactions throughout the day! #bearrison #bearevent #gaybear
36.7K
1.47K
23
11mo ago
kolossus
Last Friday’s show at Brewery Outre was fire 🔥
Opened with some jokes about my “old man drag” that somehow makes me look like Charlie Sheen’s plus size twin.
BUT—let’s talk about this shirt.
It’s from @royaura.shirts and honestly?
It slaps harder than Midwest humidity in July. 💦🌊🌈
And because I’m now a proud Nonfluencer™—
you can use ALF15 for 15% off their shirts. No minimum. Just maximum drip.
Swipe for:
📹 One set.
📸 Two chins.
👕 Infinite drip.
#OnlyFons #BreweryOutre #Comedian #RoyauraStyle #NonfluencerDeal #StandUp
31.3K
1.25K
33
11mo ago
kolossus
Highland Games in Shepherd, Michigan: where I got soaked multiple times — first from stormy rain, then from stormy sweat. 🌧️🔥 and now from my collection of Thristpics. I threw heavy stuff, cheered louder stuff, and met again the best people. Honestly, the medals were optional, especially as my two year winning run ended. But the fun was the winner!
#HighlandGames #InstaBears #Fathlete
26.4K
1.06K
14
3mo ago
kolossus
Last Friday at Turtle Cat Comedy, Ann Arbor watched me explain how AI is doing my job search while AI is doing the hiring.
The economy is a conversation between two robots and I am the Terms & Conditions nobody read. 🤖
Next Show: Wednesday April 8th. River City Saloon. Grand Rapids. Link in bio. 🎤
#StandupComedy #GenX #AIHumor #GrandRapids #Comedy
25.1K
1.01K
11
8mo ago
kolossus
🎃 Good Witch - Bad Decisions:
Wicked Halloween meets Midlife Crisis 🧙♀️💅
Glenn… … … ‘Duh! ✨ &
Alfons-aba… looking rough 😈
Still fighting like sisters. Still bitching like witches.
Welcome to “Wicked – Not For Good.” 💚🖤
They used to be Popular!
#DownTheWitchesRoad
#Halloween #Wicked
#WickedNotForGood #HalloweenCouple #GayWitches #WickedParody #ForGoodish #Popular #QueerCostumes
23.4K
937
13
2mo ago
kolossus
Putting the joke back into job loss. 🎤
Great night at Brewery Outré in Kalamazoo. 🍻
Always fun room and awesome audience — and a strong lineup all around.
#StandUpComedy #KalamazooComedy #LiveComedy #ComedyLife #MidwestComedy
20.1K
657
3
3mo ago
kolossus
🇩🇪🐻 I performed one of three sets at Big Belly Laughs — the first ever standup show at Beardance, TBRU 30. Shoutout to @thatjeffisfunny and @josephschles for making it happen. The other two were funnier. I was less dressed!
Bavarian migrant energy. Textile contouring. Pokémon 🐻 strategy. Love Is Blind Bear Edition. A room full of fabulous beings and one German who arrived severely dehydrated.
Video is live. Link in bio.
———
This Friday I headline Turtle Cat Comedy in Ann Arbor.
📍 Hear.Say Brewing + Theater
📅 April 3rd / 9pm
🎟️ All Info on my website - link in Bio
#TBRU #Beardance #OnlyFons #StandUp #bearsofinstagram🐻
19.7K
1.15K
46
1mo ago
kolossus
🎉 Happy Birthday to me!
🎤 Final set at Manny’s Bar & Grill
📚 Big men in history failing at 47
📸 Real talk about dick pics
🌪️ Ignored a tornado warning—TornadoSchmornado!
#StandUpComedy #GrandRapidsComedy #TornadoSchmornado
14.7K
507
9
9mo ago
kolossus
🐻✨ Bearrison Street Fair, San Francisco — what a ride!
My first outdoor set surrounded by bears, leather, glitter, and the best kind of protest energy.
Comedy under the Californian sun and next to the “No Kings” demo — so naturally, I told the crowd what we Germans did with ours. 👑🇩🇪
Trying to be inspirational for the Orange 😉
#BearrisonStreetFair #StandUpComedy #GayComedian #GermanComedian #OnlyFons #InstaBears #ComedyInTheWild
13.8K
512
9
5mo ago
kolossus
Gute Nachrichten 🇩🇪✨
I’m back in the Heimatland.
Currently:
🥨 Butterbrezeln
🌭 Landjäger
🧖♂️ Thermen & being naked in Saunas
🎤 And doing COMEDY
📍 Stuttgart
🗓 Tomorrow & Monday
🎭 Comedy Bubbles
Come by and learn from a Bio-Deutscher mit Migrationshintergrund how an ICE storm is absolutely derailing the USA.
Bis dann. See y’all. 😌🇩🇪🇺🇸
#StuttgartComedy #ComedyBubbles #StandUpComedy #BackInGermany #MigrantLife
12.1K
693
6
2mo ago
kolossus
Throwback to one of my last sets:
daddy’s, virgins, questionable fashion choices and several reasons why I should never be handed a microphone unsupervised. 🇩🇪
Tomorrow / Thursday at BOLD Cigar Lounge.
Come classy. Leave confused.
#GrandRapidsComedy #StandUpComedy #GayComedian #MichiganComedy
10.5K
461
7
1w ago
kolossus
Last night was pure comedy lab. 🧪
Some riffs landed.
Some absolutely 💣ed.
Some got an audible “NASTY!” from the audience… which, honestly, is also a compliment.
Now it’s time to see if these jokes can survive in competition.
🎳 This Sunday I’m competing in Kingpin of Comedy at The Garage Bar / Chicago Beef Joint in Grand Rapids.
Here’s the important part:
👉 The audience decides who advances.
So if you’ve ever laughed at one of my dumb ideas — or just want to watch me either triumph or spectacularly eat shit— I need you there.
📅 Sunday, July 12
🕖 7 PM
📍 Chicago Beef Joint / The Garage Bar
💸 FREE admission
Come laugh.
Come judge.
Come vote.
(And if one of these jokes offends you… imagine hearing the final version live. 😈)
#StandUpComedy #GrandRapidsComedy #MichiganComedy #KingpinOfComedy #LiveComedy
10.5K
490
5
1mo ago
kolossus
A clip from the Cassopolis Comedy Festival.
Turns out a small Bavarian village and the United States have very different ideas about celebrating anniversaries. 🇩🇪🇺🇸
Tonight:
📍 The Comedy Project
🕖 7 PM
#StandUpComedy #ComedyClip #MichiganComedy #GermanComedian #GrandRapids
9.84K
516
23
8mo ago
kolossus
This Halloween, the scariest thing isn’t ghosts — it’s Alfons the GER-MAN! 🇩🇪💀
🧟♂️ Watch the best moments from my creepiest character this year - and see the most belly I showed on stage, too! 🫃
👻 If you want this horror to stay alive — like, comment, and save before the algorithm buries it six feet deep. 🪦
#AlfonsTheGerman #HalloweenComedy #StandUpComedy #Comedy #DarkHumor #FunnyGerman #OnlyFons #ComedyClips #ViralComedy #MigrantComedy
#chubbychubbychaser #bearsofinstagram #chubsofinstagram
9.61K
401
7
3mo ago
kolossus
Tony Soprano wants his tracksuit back.
He’s gonna have to wait.
Tonight I’m headlining Turtle Cat Comedy at Hear.Say Brewing + Theater in Ann Arbor — April 3rd, 9pm, $15.
Link in bio. See you there. 🐢🐱
#standupcomedy #annarbor #comedyshow #turtlecatcomedy #michigancomedy
9.58K
383
5
2mo ago
kolossus
A few jokes from tonight’s set at Unruly Brewery in Muskegon with Comedy Bits by RJN Comedy 🍻🇩🇪
Apparently my career path now includes:
• speedrunning meditation
• becoming a 350-pound sugar baby
• starting an OnlyFans called OnlyFons
• and getting drafted by the Anchorage Anxieties 🧠
Wednesday: Grand Rapids — River City Saloon, 9 PM.
Come watch a GER-MAN professionally process midlife confusion in public.
#StandUpComedy #GrandRapids #Muskegon #OnlyFons #ComedyReel
9.28K
376
13
9mo ago
kolossus
🐻 Belly out, confidence up! Half-hairy, half-shaved — 100% proof that I’m the Gen X nonfluencer nobody asked for but the internet clearly manifested.
After one viral clip, a brand decided my torso was prime real estate 🪒 So yes — I shaved my right side and turned my belly into a marketing campaign for chubby chasers and body hair lovers everywhere.
Now I’m taking this two-tone masterpiece on tour — 3 shows in San Francisco 🇩🇪❤️🇺🇸
📍Thursday • Friday • Saturday — come see both sides live!
#BellyOut #Chub #Chaser #GayBears #Comedy #BodyHairDontCare #GenX #Nonfluencer #StandUpComedy #SanFranciscoComedy #OnlyFons
9.13K
381
1
1mo ago
kolossus
☀️🏳️🌈 Last Saturday at Newaygo Pride was absolutely gorgeous.
Amazing weather. Wonderful festival. Great crowd.
Then I stepped on stage and somehow managed to clear the area directly in front of the stage within seconds. 😅
To be fair, I immediately started talking about:
🧓 Old Man Drag and my patented “DL Camouflage”
🦃 Turkey Hunting Season
👨 Your Daddy
🚩 Hate groups with very mixed messages
🤖 The newest addition to LGBTQ+2S+: A, for the first generation of AI lovers
🛏️ And the inevitable pillow fight with the Asexuals over naming rights
Honestly, a tactical retreat was understandable.
Here’s a little best-of from a fantastic Pride weekend. ❤️
🎤 Next show:
Out Loud Festival @outloudcomedygr
📍 Comedy Project, Grand Rapids
🗓️ June 7
🕢 7:30 PM
#StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy #Pride #LGBTQComedy #GrandRapids
Alfons Mueller (@kolossus) Instagram Stats & Analytics
Alfons Mueller (@kolossus) has 12.7K Instagram followers with a 4.57% engagement rate over the past 12 months. Across 60.0 posts, Alfons Mueller received 28.1K total likes and 402K impressions, averaging 469 likes per post. This page tracks Alfons Mueller's performance metrics, top content, and engagement trends — updated daily.
Alfons Mueller (@kolossus) Instagram Analytics FAQ
How many Instagram followers does Alfons Mueller have?+
Alfons Mueller (@kolossus) has 12.7K Instagram followers as of July 2026.
What is Alfons Mueller's Instagram engagement rate?+
Alfons Mueller's Instagram engagement rate is 4.57% over the last 12 months, based on 60.0 posts.
How many likes does Alfons Mueller get on Instagram?+
Alfons Mueller received 28.1K total likes across 60.0 posts in the last 12 months, averaging 469 likes per post.
How many Instagram impressions does Alfons Mueller get?+
Alfons Mueller's Instagram content generated 402K total impressions over the last 12 months.