The Jonestown Massacre proves that it’s true, you can kill 900 people, but you can’t kill an idea, especially if that idea is consuming a potentially lethal Kool-Aid concoction because all your friends are doing it. A 380 gram pineapple jar sugar rush will have you channelling the spirit of cult leader Jim Jones: “There is no Heaven up there, so we’re going to have to make Heaven down here. Dat bih gah”

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If you’re worried about getting rejected from Berghain because you don’t look like someone who’s into techno enough, you should go with your friend who has the face of a literal horse. That way you can tell the bouncers the ketamine in your pocket was prescribed for medical reasons

Researchers at Stanford have finally given a name to something many women have been dealing with for years. It’s called mankeeping. t.co/dI5sRy23Nd

So, here it is: the definitive timeline of what hipsters were soundtracking their lives with between 2000 and 2014 (even if they’ll now tell you otherwise), beginning at the dawn of electroclash and terminating in Future Islands’ performance of “Seasons (Waiting on You)” on Letterman in the summer of that final year, which always felt like an elegy to something more than one funny little man’s on-off love affair. t.co/MWFnhKSyAZ

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