I've argued a million times over not to use the cash out button, but this may be one time I would advocate for it. Might be a book or two who would let you have enough casino credit to hedge but you've only had 48 hours to figure that out. $2,500 to $600K is live changing money for most.

Congrats on having the easiest schedule in the NFL 🤷🏼‍♀️

How are Penn State fans not flipping out?

LIKE YOU WERE AT 2:30AM

Wait, WHAT

“Sydney Sweeney makes women in sports look bad” 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

I have made it my life's mission to find her a husband. Applicants are required to be single, no baggage, under 38, rich, motivated, not a liberal, "jew-ish", love to travel, want to have precisely 2.3 children, AND are ok with your wife running your entire existence. If you qualify, please apply at thepropqueen.com/

Customer service is not existent. Shoutout to @BestBuy for selling me a brand new tv without a remote or power cord and then telling me I have to take it off my wall put it back in the box to exchange it instead of just giving me a remote and cord...

BYU

We don’t hate these people enough.

I know 99% of America does want to hear this right now but my AC just kicked on in Florida.

I know this is supposed to be satire but

I have moved seats three times at the airport to avoid speakerphone/facetimers in public. And they’re all over 70. Can someone please talk to their parents/grandparents and tell them this is not acceptable.