This must be the best week of your life if you’re 5 years old and into dinosaurs. I’m almost 30 and I’ve been rearranging everything to stick on another hour of Morgan Freeman narrating some clueless herbivore getting torn limb from limb. An absolute masterclass in dino documentary making from, unsurprisingly, the maker of Jurassic Park

I remember my Dad saying to me in 2010 to watch as many Barcelona games and as much of Messi as I possibly could for these years, because we'll look back and wish we were there for every minute of him on a football pitch. 15 years on, after catching as many of the Sunday evening 4/5/6-0 trouncings of unfortunate Spanish clubs as I could, and too much money on obscure Spanish broadcasting subscriptions, I'm extremely thankful for that pointer 😂 You just sort of knew you'd never see anyone kicking a football at this level again in your lifetime 🐐

Harry Kane is surely the best player ever who simply cannot take a free kick

When he turns up to 2030 at left back we will be there 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Had a pretty surreal Sunday in a 4x4m space with Michael McIntyre and Gary Lineker. Producers did an unbelievably good job of making us think the match was won by Spurs. First NLD I’ve missed since gaining consciousness, and I’ll not be setting up camp in here every Saturday…but this moment of the scoreline reveal was pretty priceless 😂 Also a reminder this got broadcast only on YouTube, where you can watch it for free, but you can choose not to!

You’ve got to think now maybe Portugal shouldn’t have used their 2 clever secret free kick routines in a 5-0 win vs Uzbekistan

Bit of a different tone to my usuals but it’s pretty important for *checks notes* 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘃𝗮𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆 that as many people see this as possible and learn about the current AI situation.

As someone who lived through a lucky 22 game unbeaten run under the same manager then watched Watford take 31 shots against us, I'd advise against results-based football analysis

Now Ginge is king he can make people Sirs and Dames by laying a sword on their shoulders and shouting ‘YAKNIGHTED!’

I fear this run may be spoken about around campfires for generations

3 hours into cooking chicken on the bbq

Titles are won with a bit of luck and I believe we may have used all ours up on Gabriel not getting sent off for a stone wall red card. Thought we were actually quite good? and easily could have got a draw. Having Odegaard made a big difference to recent games, and Havertz was good if you ignore the fact he probably just lost us the league with that header. I’m off for a cry

3 of those 8278 better be cherry tomatoes for a Lego Denethor to eat in a totally normal way