The year is 2040. The NBA’s Pythagorean Theorem of Tanking has made it so that this season, the 9th-worst record has the best odds at landing the No. 1 pick in the upcoming draft. This year’s top prospect is the 8-foot-1 phenom out of Albania who shoots 45% on 3s. If the Blazers lose their final regular season game against the Las Vegas Sharks, they increase their odds to the maximum 8.5% chance at landing him. If they win, they will be the No. 1 seed in the Western Conference It is a tough choice for Portland whether to trot out 50-year-old tank commander Damian Lillard, playing in his 28th season, tonight or not
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