THERE IS HANNAH AND THEN THERE IS EVERYONE ELSE. RIP THE FUCKING OLD LIST UP. THERE IS A NEW PRINCESS IN TOWN AND IT AINT EVEN CLOSE.

That Conor McGregor fight was the equivalent of getting ready to fuck on prom night and busting taking off your pants

Have not spoken to my Vegas coke dealer since 2016. Texted simply to say hi. He responded, "Stu saw you post u r coming back, for u kilo uncut $17, 300". Shoutout true blue friends for life.

I need subtitles. Haven't understood a word all halftime. The ass is top notch though.

Pray for the England fans in Mexico City getting out of there unharmed

A kilo gets this bitch flowing. I won't even expense it. Say the word. This would save this epic production. 2 miles away, just checked. Door to door service. SUP.

I rubbed one out for 2000 days in a row but at 50 had to stop because I found when making love to Sandy, loads were lacking.

JUST FOUND OUT WHAT NADU GOT PAID. MY GOD U WANT @Return_Of_RB TO HATE YOU WHEN IT COMES TO CONTRACT TALKS.

Happy Gilmore 2 was great. Wire to wire laughs. Unbelievable cast and A+ Cameos never stop. Feel good slapstick comedy.

Listen @BarstoolBigCat I am starting my diet with u tomorrow. I just peed into my belly button by accident.

5 poop yankee game experience. 3 poops second floor bathrooms, one poop first floor bathroom. Last poop just now, made uber driver get off the road and pooped in a Chinese restaurant. Ate 2 egg rolls and 3 pieces of shrimp toast because I was grateful for their facilities.