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10,000 condoms missing. 2 days. Who took them? I’ll tell you. 🤔 It wasn’t the biathlon guys. They’re busy making teary-eyed confessions. Not shocking. Nothing says “emotionally stable” like skiing at high speed and then casually stopping to fire a rifle. I have no doubt that the snowboarders are getting laid, but this is not the time for them to do it in excess. They simply don’t have the urgency. 🏂 Snowboarders can always get laid, at any time, in any ski town in the world. They merely have to roll up, and they’re halfway there. They don’t need to be hoarding condoms right now. It wasn’t the figure skaters. They are stressed, man. The singles have a microscopic margin for error. On top of landing insane jumps, they’re being judged for artistry, interpretation, vibes. The pairs always appear to have taken the ice just after a vicious marital spat. The only thing those guys are getting on a regular basis is make-up sex.⛸️ Bobsled, luge, skeleton, speed skating, anything with a spandex outfit— they’re not getting in and out of that thing fast enough to achieve this level of fornication. Who’s left? Find out at the link in our bio 🔗 The newest entry of @lesliecohenauthor’s relationship column is out now! 🔥 #olympics #skiing #guys #dudes